Bike man is an elder. Late 50's. Widower. Father to 3 beautiful daughters. He has been my personal conveyor for a month now. 11 years without his wife has left him rather empty and adventurously seeking for a personal hole to crawl into. Journey to feel warmth once more. He actually confided in me that he has been celibate all this years while still waiting and hoping for the right woman. I scoffed when he brought to my hearing that; in his words, 'Ameka, you're the truth and I love the truth' Child abuse!
On the 9th,that being Sunday, he came along with his 16 year old daughter. It's Bajaj so there's enough room to occupy a third-party. Settled in, we zoomed off to our various places of worship. Destination not anywhere in sight, I started a conversation. He's fluent in the French language and even though I am not so perfect at it, we still were able to converse.
Me: Monsieur, why tell me to be up before 6am only to arrive 2 hours post our agreed time?
Monsieur: Mulan; referring to his 16 year old, was the reason for the delay, he said. I had to wait for her to be done with hair and all you ladies stuff.
Me: { I chuckled } I complimented her looks already, I said. I got up way before 7 and still was able to get all dressed before your arrival.
Monsieur: Don't you know that you are a woman and as such, you're meant to be up on time. You're meant to wash the dishes. Get the broom and sweep.
Now, I see nothing wrong in one working with time. Completing whatever task he/she has to do albeit earlier and having the rest of the day to do as he/she pleases. Be it in a working environment, home chores and personal dealings, most people would beat the time frame awarded for a particular task. I believe it's a skill that is well appreciated, be it between a man and woman in any sort of relationship and in our place of work. Chukzy Onyekwelu you're one amazing brother!.
Me: Monsieur, I am not disputing the fact that I am a woman and all but when the woman/lady/girl does all this, what do you advice or suggest that the men/boys do?
Where he got his next response from I don't know but I was shocked!
Monsieur: Show me in the Bible where it's written that men/boys should do all this?
The Bible!
Seriously!
Help me explain this, he continues. 'A man eats and a woman clears the table'. Don't you know that women are naturally born slaves to their husbands!?.
Most men today don't really come to the understanding that it's only love that drives a woman to put up. Stick up. Tolerate. Belittle herself just so that he, her husband can be the king whereas his head doesn't fit any such crown and title.
Now, this is when the lady-like feminist spirit that must have been following and eavesdropping on our conversation felt she needed to be heard. It's a clear shade to women and misconception on the values of marriage. I went dumb so that she could speak through me.
Feminist: Des esclaves! Slaves! She was mad. You refer to a woman, a should be wife that decides to show immense love to her husband, a slave!
French failed so she made the switch to English;
'A girl child would be raised in her family. So much love. Only to get married to one that sees her as just a slave'? A man that isn't ready to show as much love as she has received in her home? With her family?. A man that obviously got the patriarchal treatment. One that can't differentiate from being married and staying married, she fumed. Is it not the same Bible that says that a man would leave his father and mother. Clinging to his wife and together, they become one?( Mulane jeered me on). The same Bible also says, 'man love your wife and woman submit to your husband? Submission comes but after love. Submission doesn't in anyway refer to as being tagged a slave.......
I was able to get full control of my body as she was about to make a nasty comment on his late wife and how he must have treated her. You don't disrespect the dead. Her daughter was her after all. Respect her if you can't respect her ex husband. He went on to say;
Monsieur: I know a lady who shares same view with you and sadly, she has been married countless times.
Me: Well; when next you see her, please tell her that she shouldn't be in a hurry to accept the available just because the desirable isn't yet in sight. Marriage is meant to last until death comes in to put asunder. That desirable man exists. She should exercise patience while getting prepared for him.
With this, we all fell silent. No words exchanged. He got his daughter to her destination. 30 minutes to my stop, I told him;
Monsieur, to this very day I am sad I don't have my dad here anymore. Recovery hasn't really been easy.
I look forward to the man I would one day call mine but there's so much fear and uncertainties. If dad were to be here, he's sure to ensure that I don't fall prey to this unworthy men. Men that would only see me as a slave and tool just for sex and childbirth. But then, Monsieur, he left me in very good hands. I have my brothers and I guess it's his own way of reassuring me that I can never go wrong with them by my side. At the same time, I feel really sorry for your daughter, Mulan, and her sisters. I really hope you correct this error before it's late.
That being said, I got down from the bike and walked into the church premises.
So much said on a beautiful sunny Sunday.
@Amaka nwa Jalingo.
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